Filed under: suspic's speeches
There are times in a man’s life when he acts like an ass simply for the sake of being an ass for shits and giggles.
Once upon a dandy time, I was cruising back from the sandy camp in the south of Kuwait and our magnificent 3 lane highway clogged up into 2 lanes because of the lovely truckers taking up the right lane. Lucky for me I was driving on the far left lane, while the middle lane was hectic.
Fast forward a few minutes, and a police car pops up in my rear view mirror almost grinding on my bumper. Now, I was going 120kmph so he couldn’t flash me to move and he couldn’t grind me any further because well..he’s a cop. With the far right and middle lanes clogged up, I caused an even tighter bottle neck going a boring 120 testing the policeman’s morality.
After a staggering 15 minutes or so, I decided to move to the middle lane and unleash a herd of angry cars led by an even angrier cop. I chuckled and called that moment legen-dary. Share your moments of asinine triumph with the suspic!
End of transmission.
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hi;p
Comment by um-mit3ib January 24, 2010 @ 12:24 AMHala bra3yat elkhaima. =O
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 12:26 AMtoo many to share…
simply TOO many to share ;Pp
my favorites though, is when some asswipe is driving at 300 on a not-so-empty highway and flashing me from 100km before so i can move, thinking he owns the street.
ya3ny 3afwan okhoy, shino warak elcongress?
i then very nicely keep going at 120 (sometimes less etha wayed ytarek ;Pp), making sure he cant bypass me from the middle lane.
until we get very very very close to a speeding camera, at which time i move away ;Pp
6ab3an oho meshta6 oo metnarfez oo ydoos o ymur yamy oo lef rasa y2asher oo yseb…
and yetnarfaz oo yeshta6 oo ydos zyada lma yshof the grin on my face from ear to ear and i can see his face go redder and redder until…
FLASH!
he realizes what i did to him ;Pp
aaaaahhhhhhhh!! wallah abarid chabd nafsy theech el7azza ;Pp
Comment by doona January 24, 2010 @ 12:56 AMI’m usually a polite driver, but the drive back min elmokhayam is so damn long. =O
The camera trap thing almost never works out. I applaud your effort. :c
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 1:13 AMwow! you really have no life do you? :p
Comment by MiYaFuSHi January 24, 2010 @ 1:12 AMI actually do. I’d call you a rude bitch but I believe you’ve established that reputation with your comment.
Regardless of that, I aim to please.
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 1:15 AMlegend-ary indeed
I applaud you.
Comment by dainty January 24, 2010 @ 1:43 AMI aim to please. =O
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 4:49 AMYour comment to miya was harsh I must say (and by harsh I mean full of win), you have to understand when girls say/do mean things and you return the favor, you’re at fault.
They want only the good things of gender equality.
on topic, not a smart thing to test the limits of a cop, especially when they dont follow the rules at all.
i’ve lost track of how many ive seen talking on a cell phone while driving, changing lanes with no signals, not wearing a seatbelt, etc.
u think they care if they hit you? its your word vs theirs if u decide to file a report.
I got hit on the head with a glass bottle during a fight, the cop didnt feel like filling a report, he basically said it would be a long process for me so i shouldnt bother.
yeah.
YEAH
Comment by FUZZY BEAR January 24, 2010 @ 4:09 AMI speak win and only win. :c
I know he could’ve pulled me over for any bullshit violation, but it was loads of fun seeing him so close just dying to ram me off the road. The minute I went to the middle lane he floored it well above 120. =O
Hit on the head with a glass bottle? How very cliche, you baboon. Given that we don’t have redneck bars and strip clubs, I have three questions:
1- Since it’s not a beer bottle, what was it? Tropicana or Snapple? =O
2- You got hit with a glass bottle, despite sounding badass, epic fail.
3- You went to file a complaint instead of serving back with another bottle?
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 4:56 AMDude I was joking around as i usually do with you, and as shown with the ‘:p’ I added at the end.
But seems I touched a very very raw nerve. I wonder why?!
Anyways, I wont bother to call you a name back, since I am not rude nor bitch for that matter. Take care babe.
Comment by MiYaFuSHi January 24, 2010 @ 4:59 AMFirst of all, you’re a long time reader and I acknowledge and appreciate that.
Second, there’s no humor in such a dry, rude comment and “:p” doesn’t justify it.
Take care too.
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 5:04 AMThing is, if you had a life, and took time out of it to write about such a mundane thing, you would have found it humorous too. The only was to find my comment rude, is if it was true. And I was honestly just laughing and trying to tease you that’s it.
As I said I must have hit a very VERY RAW nerve, to get such a harsh and rude response from you.
Anyways, this is too much kid drama queen for me. Peace out!
Comment by MiYaFuSHi January 24, 2010 @ 5:14 AMA blogger criticizing another blogger for dedicating a post to such a mundane thing, do you really want to get into that?
While I don’t care for your input on my life, thank you for taking time out of your seemingly prosperous life as a blog post critic and commenting here.
p.s. writing with caps on doesn’t magically make your statement true.
Comment by suspic January 24, 2010 @ 5:21 AMMarrat ansa enna ana bilKuwait w atkhayal enna ilnas elle belshari3 awadim.
Comment by Eksha5 January 24, 2010 @ 7:13 AMFa kel ma i want to change lanes or adish laffa or something a36i eshara. W ektishaft enna lamma tsawe chethe chances are ennik mara7 tegdar t’3ayir il7ara w bet6oofik laffitik ba3ad, li2anna il7ameer 3azkom alla bas yshofon el signal ydigoon ‘3aaaz w ydoson chinna like there’s no tomorrow.
So bedal la atkhalla 3n mabad2y w i stop using turn signals, etha badish dakhla astakhdimha w an6er the driver ele yame ydoos 3shan yemna3ny, w bas ygarrib anam 3alaih noumat qahar lamma adakhla 7arat amaan.
w marra rakkabt wa7id ilra9eef, w u know what? it felt awesome.
Cheers
Ee you can’t signal your turns, you have to surprise them with your turns like a hawk. =O
However if the other person’s also an ass driving a cheap ass car, he’d tell you “3al beema” o yaskit. =O
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 4:43 AMI loved the phrasing of “asinine triumph”. Loved it!
I was shopping abroad at a shoe store with my younger brother and my two younger cousins. The saleslady was very dry and snobbish with us. So we went out the store and came back in to say yes we do want those boots. I had her write up the fatoora, pack up the boots, showed her that I did have the money to pay and THEN said I changed my mind and didn’t buy them. Also I think my little cousins changed the position of some of the shoes on display when we went out the first time around :) We could hear her yell when we were out the store and the feeling…well THAT, my friend, was asinine triumph :)
(btw Miyafushi is far from rude, I know her to be a very sweet girl, so if you’ll forgive me for offering my unsolicited two cents I think this whole thing was just a nasty case of miscommunication. Writing comments does that because you don’t see the person or hear the tone so chances of misinterpreting someone’s remark are quite high.)
Comment by 1001Nights January 24, 2010 @ 10:48 AMHaha! You have a dark side! I’m shocked in a good way! =O
(About the misunderstanding, call me old fashioned but I find putting down any person’s free time activities and calling them lifeless is rude in spite of any dry humorous intentions.
I do sincerely appreciate and respect your opinion on any post as always, by the way.)
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 4:52 AMThanks suspic. You really are full of wit mashala, I do get a kick out of your blog and I even get a little annoyed when you tune out for too long :)
Comment by 1001Nights January 26, 2010 @ 9:45 AM1) As I recall a 7up bottle
2) Me not getting knocked out and feeling absolutely nothing when it happened is bad ass yes I agree
3) I kicked his ass, and made him scurry out the back door like a hump-backed rat. When the rage went away I decided to be civil for a bit.
Miya is the embodiment of the mature, suave, chic lady of the 21st century, and of course any hostility on her part is merely a misinterpretation by those around her.
Your only option here suspic is to press her for pictures and accept her forgiveness if said pictures indicate that she is hot (which I doubt as there are no hot female bloggers in kuwait).
ugh your site is the only blog that isn’t blocked here due to your domain name.
Comment by FUZZY BEAR January 24, 2010 @ 10:52 AMHow on earth do you know how all the female bloggers look like?
One of them finally agreed to your redbull, eh? =O
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 4:55 AMugh i’m in a room with a syrian who talks like count dracula from sesame street and a bonified bad ass wearing a tight ass jacket complete with the kuwaiti big ass and in the middle is a closet homosexual.
I must linger here till my upload is complete :(
Comment by FUZZY BEAR January 24, 2010 @ 10:55 AMThere are too many jokes there, too many.
Being between gay guys and talking about “upload”, and the fact that you’re between the Arab version of the village people. =O
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 4:58 AMwalaah mako take the cops name o mu5alafa then make a call wt6ee7:)
Comment by lemon-aid January 24, 2010 @ 8:13 PM6ool 3umrich kibeera, ya lemonadha.
However, the point isn’t who’s wa9il and who’s not. You misunderstood the post. :(
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 5:00 AMLOOOL! Ent fahimny :p
Comment by Eksha5 January 25, 2010 @ 7:40 AMThe other day I was driving, and we live in Jumairah in Dubai.. And that road is the road all the show-offs come to try to raise the self-esteem of their sorry asses ..
Anyways driving down this road, some pea-brained idiot in a Range Rover comes up behind me while I was on the left lane and keeps on flashing me.. Me being the stubborn person I am, refuse to move seeing as I’m driving 85 on a road with a 70 speed limit and cameras that catch you at 90..
I simply position my rearview mirror so when he flashed me, it reflected right back at him and partially blinded him HA!
Comment by FingerPrint January 24, 2010 @ 9:12 PMYou have no idea how much you shattered my beliefs in Dubai. :(
Emaratis break the law? There are people who speed in Dubai? :(
We live in a dark, scary world..
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 5:03 AMBeing an avid follower of your updates ..I was kinda offended by the one-liner and the pathetic excuse of a smiley above !
I tend to lurk around your posts without a trace…they somehow have a magical ability of shedding the mental weight of my day ..
Your effortless charm & humor in writing about the happenings of your day makes it rise above its ordinariness and lingers quite awhile after the giggle …
So..Keep on pleasin’
*back to lurker mode*
Comment by November January 25, 2010 @ 12:25 AMHaha, your graphical awesomeness never ceases to make me chuckle. =O
For readers like you, I sincerely and genuinely aim to please.
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 5:08 AM“How on earth do you know how all the female bloggers look like?
One of them finally agreed to your redbull, eh? =O”
lolz nice one.
“Emaratis break the law? There are people who speed in Dubai? :(”
I call shenanigans as emiraties do not exist in dubai.
also lol at your e-fame
Comment by FUZZY BEAR January 25, 2010 @ 7:22 AMHeard the joke about the bunny and the bear taking a dump in the woods?
It’s both hilarious and filled with life lessons.
Comment by suspic January 25, 2010 @ 7:59 AM