alternate realities and orgasm faces!
After watching the season premiere of Family Guy and its thought provoking alternate reality theme, I’ve come up with a thought obviously.
Imagine an alternate reality where people don’t smile the way they normally do. Imagine an alternate reality where people smile and laugh like the picture above!
I personally would love to live in one. Let’s all contemplate on this thought.
End of transmission.
suspic is finally making compromises!
After quite some time living the university life and interacting with people of all personalities I hate and love, I decided to compromise. I, suspic, am finally using the “:P” smiley even though I loathe it. It’s just easier than explaining to each and everyone why I’m always using “:o” on MSN, BBM, texts and every other IM service. There’s a lesson here for you all, note how I didn’t go all emo and say “nobody understands me behi behi boo”.
Now, to clear things out, I don’t hold a grudge against you for using it. Well, I do, but I don’t hate you for it. You just have to be awesomer than people who don’t so you’d balance things out.
When I was a young chap I made quite the compromise while shopping with my mom, I remember once or twice a few strange woman would slap a dress to my back and speedwalk away in escape. Now obviously in retrospect, I wish that I yelled “Bitch!”, flashed my genitals and shot them in the knee. All I did back then was have a shocked face and an awkward smile.
The lesson here is to never fit your girl’s dresses on strange young boys, women. Just bring your damned girl and shop with her. Why? Because the boy will remember you 10 years later, and many more years.
End of transmission.
Movie Reviews: [Inglourious Basterds] and [Blood and Bone]~!
This movie was directed by Quentin Tarantino. I don’t think I need to say anymore than that.
However, if you want more, the thing I love the most about Tarantino movies is the soundtrack, the gore and the dialogues. This movie delivers on every aspect of those. I highly recommend it, the dialogue may seem to drag to some but it usually delivers enough action at the end of each to satisfy each viewer.
The only downside is that cinescape cut all the awesome gorey scenes.
This movie isn’t all that, it’s rather forgettable and missable. However, it’s extremely fun to watch. It’s a typical street fighting movie, cheesy storyline, incredibly ripped guys and loads of awesome fighting.
It’s awesome to the point where you just want to go apeshit on the usher while going out. Actually to the point where in the middle of the movie I whispered to my friend, “when we go out, I’m gonna fuck you up..”.
End of transmission.
Eid and stuff~!
I believe it’s expected of me to congratulate you and wish you a happy eid. I also believe that the tradition here is for people to give me money for saying these two words.
In all seriousness, have a good one! A friendly tip though, whenever someone asks you to count your newly aquired money, bitchslap them and run. It’s a con that I fell for many years ago. Wish me a happy eid, or share your Eid stories whichever you feel’s more appropriate.
Also, on this happy occasion, I’d like to announce that I love you all unequally. 
End of transmission.
When did you lose your innocence?
I mean the linguistic innocence, of course. I remember that I was in 3rd grade, walking in Khiran Resort with my cousins thinking I was the chick magnet of all. Then a group of older guys in an SUV passed by and cracked a joke at us, after that the youngest of us at the time threatened them to “move their asses, or he’ll penetrate it”.
In retrospect, what he said given his age was simply badass. At the time though, I was shocked by this new word that made them awe and literally move from our way. The vulgarity, the badassness, the rudeness of it was simply magical. After that, I asked the eldest of us at the time and he explained to me the ins-and-outs of the vulgarity in our language. (Pun intended)
Back to our question, when did you lose your linguistic innocence? The average from my observations is elementry school for boys, and middle school for girls.
End of transmission.
Verses from the quran~!
I try to steer away from religious topics since each to his own, but I don’t think anyone differs on the Quran. Therefore, in the spirit of the last ten days of Ramadan, here are the verses that I’ve appreciated during prayers:
ูุงู ุงููู ุชุนุงูู:๏ดฟ ู
ููุซููู ุงูููุฐูููู ููููุฑููุงู ุจูุฑูุจููููู
ู ุฃูุนูู
ูุงููููู
ู ููุฑูู
ูุงุฏู ุงุดูุชูุฏููุชู ุจููู ุงูุฑูููุญู ููู ููููู
ู ุนูุงุตููู ูุงูู ููููุฏูุฑูููู ู
ูู
ููุง ููุณูุจููุงู ุนูููู ุดูููุกู ุฐููููู ูููู ุงูุถูููุงููู ุงููุจูุนููุฏู๏ดพย ุณูุฑุฉ ุฅุจุฑุงููู
18.
ูุงู ุงููู ุชุนุงูู: (ููุฅูุฐูุง ุฃูุฑูุฏูููุง ุฃููู ูููููููู ููุฑูููุฉู ุฃูู
ูุฑูููุง ู
ูุชูุฑููููููุง ููููุณููููุง ูููููุง ููุญูููู ุนูููููููุง ุงูููููููู ููุฏูู
ููุฑูููุงููุง ุชูุฏูู
ููุฑูุง) ุณูุฑุฉ ุงูุฅุณุฑุงุก 16.
I hope you enjoy the remaining days of Ramadan and many more Ramadans in the future.
End of transmission.
Kuwait University Website~!
One university, 20,000+ students, one crippled website delaying every one of those students.
I try long and hard not to be a perfectionist in this country, but even the average needs aren’t met in this case. Football sites, popular forums and many other websites have over one million hits per day and they don’t crash. God forbid they do, a techie would usually fix it within hours. I know a very, very popular American forum admin, he’s a university student and whenever it crashes he fixes it himself.
Let’s not even start on the software and design of the website. I’m a very amateur, self taught photoshop-ist who just plays around with brushes and filters and I swear I can do a better job.
Still I’m not a perfectionist. I’m fine with all of that but I want to register for classes, you twats.
End of transmission.
Uncle suspic uses logic to cripple a mugger~!
Once upon a time I was in a dark alley, walking to the car with a friend after supporting our national football team at Kuwait Club in Kaifan. It was a dark, cold night and immorality was in the air. Suddenly a group of Kuwaiti chavs in their skinny dishdashas cornered me. They wanted my blue Kuwait scarf, and the following conversation happened:
—
Mugger: I want your scarf! Give it to me!
suspic: No.
Mugger: Why?
suspic: Because it’s mine.
—
Then the big, scary mugger walked away in confusion. May the force be with you when you encounter a mugger.
End of transmission.
What can you do with 10 Kuwaiti Dinars?
Price: 10.
Would you buy it? If not, what better things can you do with 10 dinars?
Note: It’s not mine, imbeciles.
End of transmission.
the suspic wonders, who profits from business expos?
Disclaimer: I know very little about expos, this is the conclusion of what I understand from my personal observations and internet research.
——————————————–
We have many business expos in Kuwait, all with catchy names and patriotic, youth supporting themes. Most if not all expos are sponsored by well established companies.
“Sponsorship is the financial or in-kind support of an activity, used primarily to reach specified business goals”, according to About.com. Thus implying that the said sponsors pay most, if not all, the expenses of the expos regardless of whatever they may be. From my understanding they could be the price of renting the halls, the booths’ equipment, the price of marketing and whatever I’m not aware of.
The organizers of these events charge the participants a specific price as rent for the booths varying from 90KD to 170KD as it differs from one organizer to another. A former organizer claimed to have had more than 200 small businesses in its halls, but for the sake of simpler math I’ll suppose each event holds 100 small businesses being charged 100KD per booth.
100 booths * 100KD = 10,000KD.
The sponsors don’t take the money. The small business owners leave with whatever tiny profit they make which is their total revenue minus their total costs. Their total costs being the price of their goods, price of running said goods and the price of rent. Their total revenue is naturally the total of what they receive during the business expo. Whatever’s left after the deduction is usually divided on a number of people since most small business owners partner with their friends to further lower their costs. For example:
(250KD total revenue) – (100KD price of material + 100KD for rent) = 50KD / 3 business partners = 16.6KD.
That being said, who gets the 10,000KD?
End of transmission.
