Need I say anymore?

The robots were pretty cool and stuff by the way.

End of transmission.

It’s not looking too good for the suspic.

I haven’t had dinner.It’s 3AM. I called Papa John’s, they put me on hold and hung up, then everytime I called they hung up on me or the line died. Being a man with tons of pride, I chose hunger over calling them or any other restaurant again. I can feed myself, fuck them. I can even hunt if the time needed. Street cats should be eccentric with lots of sand as topping.

suspic bear is now in front of a collection of random junk food he found in the house to stop his hunger consisting of cereal without milk, 3 tiny kdd cocktail juice, 2 packs of “بفك ذرة بو عوادة”, fancy toast and “حلوى عمانية”.

In other cases I would follow what a wiseman once told me, “If you’re ever hungry late at night, go to the kitchen and make lots of noise til women come”.

The point is, suspic is a man who cane take care of himself in harsh times.

End of transmission.

As you can see I took it upon myself and my manhood to demonstrate the approved and disapproved leg crossing to uncle suspic.

I was at coffee republic with some lads, and I was appalled if not disgusted by their definition of posh.

According to them, posh is crossing your legs the girly man’s way, smoking a cigarette with blatant wishes to lift your pinkie up, all while sipping strawberry flavored redbull through a straw served in a plastic cup not the actual redbull can.

That’s the equivalent of of cutting your rice with a steak knife before eating it.

In conclusion, uncle suspic wishes you a pair of testies.

End of transmission.

As you can see I made pink look manlier than a roundhouse kick to a flaming dinosaur, however I bring you stories along with topless treats.

- Fendeq.com -

This website offered a special rate for Dubai Marine and I booked through it. When I arrived the website turned out to be complete and utter stereotypical Arab business bullshit. The website itself booked through another booking website called Booking.com and their special offer was a needless lie, so I had to pay the original price.

- Getting semi arrested -

After a blazing argument with a taxi that got me lost I refused to pay so he drove himself to an Emarati Shaikha’s palace to complain to her gate’s guards thinking they can resist my smooth words and storytelling or my legs since I was wearing shorts. After a quick talk with the police, my friend and I were at their office sipping cold juice and fiesting on strawberries and grapes while the taxi was wiping off his sweat outside for a decent amount of time until he drove us to our hotel like a good boy.

My biggest pet peeve with uneducated labor is when they argue using nonsense and then use God as a sympathy card. Just because you know a few Muslim phrases doesn’t mean I can’t rip you a new asshole, Babu.

- Meeting strangers -

I’m beginning to love meeting foreign strangers. Everytime I get in a ride with someone new I try to talk to them, get behind their heads and try to learn and adapt as much as I can from their experiences and perspective in life.

I met the coolest taxi, he had a custom stereo, DJ music, a British accent and a damn business degree. He actually used the word “Bullshit” correctly in a sentence. With other taxis I learned about Christianity in the Indian culture and reasons why I should wear a condom if I ever feel the need of hiring a prostitute. Along with naming the best and worst nationalities to hire if the time ever came. Gotta love taxis, straight from talking about religion to prostitituion.

- Topless suspic -

(more…)

I’ve been contacted by the royal family of Dubai to pay their state a visit and demonstrate my legs at a hotel of theirs and negotiate selling a picture of my legs for their currency. The only issue is, how can you put a value to my untamed beasts?

A gig that’s not worthy of the suspic, however when you’re blessed with sexy hairy legs like mine you truly understand Uncle Ben’s wise words, when he said to confused Spiderman “With great power, comes great responsibility”.

A safari, ski lessons, jet skis, sand dune humpin’ ATVs, 3D horror movie and bending over in front of a shark at an aquarium are some of the highlights I plan to have.

I’m contemplating wearing a fanny pack just to test the limits of my sexiness by turning it into a weapon of sex appeal to seduce the ladies as I unzip..my fanny pack.

…

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End of transmission.

After a dandy weekend at Seashell I have the following to say:

- Second Cup is closed with no replacement, the billiards pool and arcade lounge is also closed. Where the hell am I supposed to show off my legs and seduce the ladies?

- A showerma costs 1.100KD, a 400 fils haagen dazs ice cream costs 1.100KD, a slushie costs 1.00KD. The 100 fils is service charge, by the way.

- A 3KD Zain eeZee card costs 3.500KD. A baqala isn’t that much of a whore for profit.

- There’s no ATM machine in sight, but the reception are willing to give you cash but %5 commission.

- The wireless network doesn’t reach the beach side chalets even though they’re the most expensive so kudos to their VIP treatment. There was a wireless network called “tsunami”, the techie guy in the resort has a sense of humor, eh?

- You can’t jump in the pool with ordinary clothes, you have to be in a swimsuit. Apparently veiled Muslim women in a Muslim country are a needless demographic. Not everyone likes the “مايوه اسلامي”.

- Seashell double sold the resort as Friday, the second day, was an open day for a media company of some sort so the paying customers had to share their facilities with a flee of fine Lebanese women in bikinis and their hairy men. The guys were more lubed up to tan than the women. I saw my reflection on a guy’s nipple.

- A new mom with fresh birth scars should not wear a bikini. A chubby girl with gigantic boobs that dangle to knee level should not wear a tank top with no bra and emerge from the water.

- I shit you not when I put my leg through the water, there was steam. Sexiness.

- Note to guys and girls in Starbucks Jlai’a, it doesn’t count as a “فيكم شاليه؟” trip when you switch from Starbucks Albid’a to Starbucks Jlai’a and sitting outside all dolled up in dusty weather. It’s sad to strong suspic carrying two packs of Abraj water while judging you, sipping a frappacino and making it look easy.

End of transmission.

I’m not one to make gay, personal posts but it’s 3 AM. I just finished studying, haven’t had a decent night out for a while and I need me some ego boost.

Either boost my ego, or share your ego boosting techniques. Keep in mind I can’t cut myself since the razor would break.

End of transmission.

Goldust(WWF Wrestler, click for more images) is back as Salwa, the hottie of the political scene!

I will refer to what’s above as “it”. It is not sane obviously. It is not Kuwaiti since it couldn’t recognize obvious genetic Kuwaiti sarcasm in Khalid’s tone. It dresses like Big Bird was left alone with a bucket of red paint and another bucket of crack.

الحمدلله على نعمة العقل ، الله لا يبلينا ، وعسى الله يرزقها ب”غالي” حفيد خالد بن الوليد الجميل ذو الشعر الكاري واللي راح ينبني مسجد باسمه من حلال زوجها الصباحي

In the words of Khalid Alabduljleel, “بس عاد يلا قمي” or something similar.

End of transmission.

We Kuwaitis really should be content with what we have. As I flipped through this catalogue of aspiring maids, I noticed many with what we consider to be elite majors in our country. Chemical engineering, political science, criminology, industrial studies, etc. An uneducated asswipe can reach great positions in Kuwait and a Filipino chemical engineer gets to wipe his kid’s ass.

On a lighter note, imagine you have a company with many healthy assets. Now this company has a less than perfect boss, and a less than perfect staff. The boss doesn’t show much interest to the company, and the staff abuse the company’s facilities with blatant disregard to their livelihood while simultaneously complaining about the less than perfect boss.

Keep in mind the workers union is also less than perfect. How would you solve this situation? Mass murder is not an option, unfortunately.

End of transmission.