MOLE! MOLE!

MOLLY MOLLY MOLE!

MOOOOOLE!

End of transmission.

Uncle suspic would like to inform you that it is pronounced Skype, in the same zone as Type and “Stop repeating it, you fucking idiot!”. It’s not sky-pee. The sky does not pee, that is blasphemy.

Get an education, you ignorant imbeciles.

[Education]

End of transmission.

Capitalize: “ to gain by turning something to advantage” – Merriam-Webster dictionary.

As I age like fine wine or vimto in our case, I’m slowly turning into a pessimist. I’ve always been a realist. It’s always been my strongest advantage, I condone the biggest signs of corruption in my country because I realize it’s human nature to abuse and rape every loophole unless stopped by proper administration. However, It’s the small things that go around that are converting me.

To sum those things up, you can see the picture above. It’s a picture of a car that got banged up pretty good by a couple of flips on the road, so one man’s tragedy is another man’s marketing opportunity. If you haven’t noticed those stickers are for tow trucks and taxis.

Another case, is the total replacement of perfectly decent sidewalks in an area for another of the same quality. If I had shot pictures of before and after, even I wouldn’t tell the difference. One house owner’s needless inconvenience, is another businessman’s profit.

End of transmission.

Of course I had to choose a more G rated picture for my light hearted readers.

Worry not readers, it’s not my ass but an ass of a friend. A friend of mine was stabbed in the ass during a fight. A fight over a friend pranking his other friend while sleeping. Fight by all means, but don’t touch the buttocks. You never slap a man because it doesn’t hurt but the insult of a slap will make him more angry than a punch to the face. That logic, applies to all 4 cheeks of a man.

Now, I would love to congratulate the stabber on the wit of bending the common rule of “don’t go below the belt”, to avoid hits to one’s manhood, by applying hits to the rear of a man. A rear that some men hold very dear to themselves. Perhaps their wives too. One only has one rear, except some people who have two. Think about that for a second.

Our kids need to learn how to play nicely. I’ve seen so many fights that start over literally nothing and escalate to a cage death match. A stare, a remark, an opposing football team’s tshirt, accidental swerves(sleepovers in our slang?) on other cars. The ironic thing is that whenever people discuss this everyone frowns upon the intensity of the fights, and when a question of what kind of weapons do you have in your car pops up everyone’s suddenly the child of Rambo and Terminator, assuming they were gay, got it on and adopted a child.

I’ve seen and heard of people who have pistols, knives, blades, daggers, swords, etc ready for action. Who told them they were Wa’el Kfoori?

On a lighter note, how does suspic untangle his earphones? Hold one end and shake it really hard! :D

End of transmission.

- Scene At A Dowaniya -

Guy: Y’know I read a very cool post about the recent business expo by a blogger named suspic.

Brother: Hahahaha!

Guy: What?

Brother: suspic’s my brother.

Guy: Haha I wish I could write like him.

- على ذمة الراوي -

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End of transmission.

Welcome home, boys and girls.

I’d like to thank a particular someone for puchasing me the domain as a gift, and plenty of tons of thanks to Soul for tuning it to what you’re seeing now.

In the words of a good friend of mine, “صرت منهم”. I’m officially a blogger.

End of transmission.

Today, I was tested. My car was taken, and I had to drive Old & Busty. My first ride back in the illegal underage days. It’s safe to say ex-cars hold quite the grudge when you dump their asses and come back for one last bootie call.

I had to ride Old & Busty at exactly noon, noon when everything alive feels a taste of hell. After stepping into the car, I tasted a bit of that myself. To be exact, my ass and hands felt it..hard. The steering wheel felt like lava, and the seat was rough on my ass burning it branding me like its bitch..on both cheeks.

My constant cussing and screaming “HOT! HOT! FUCKING HOT!” sounded like Eddie Murphy’s hot tub skit. The only difference is I’d look much hotter in that robe.

Everything was fine and dandy, until I tried to merge into a certain ring road from the right and move to the left lane all in one try, that usually requires a decentpush on the gas pedal into the guts of the engine and waiting for the car to take you to the promise lane! Only I had one more advantage!

Oh hell yeah! The orgasmic sport button! I pushed it, screamed “Just like old times~! Yeah baby~!” and floored it with the RPM gauge going mad! That’s when I learned that cars held a grudge.

Old and busty gave me nothing but a blow to my road manhood, I got on the left lane with a firing bullet of a car coming up close behind me so I had to swerve to the middle lane pretty fast because Old & Busty didn’t feel like giving me what I wanted one last time. I wasn’t the alpha male on the road.

Lesson of the day, V-Kool is divine and bootie calls never end well.

End of transmission.

My family and I were at the garden enjoying the sexy clear night, awaiting the first moments of my 19th birthday on the 18th of May. A stray dog joined the party at our doorstep, it looked thirsty and quite hungry. Being a good man, I watered the poor thing and gave it some bread. Sweet, innit?

Fast forward minutes later, the dog and I are having a death stare match. Nothing between us but the fence as the dog’s trying to find a way to hop it to get to me while my sister’s pulling me back.

Lesson of the day, either suspic in shorts is tastier than bread or dogs don’t like the camera flash.

End of transmission.

Our elections are a pedophiler’s wet dream. I was passing around the voting locations for some free ice cream and a girl jumped through the window screaming:

“!الله يخليك صوت لفلان! اذا تحب الله! ابوس ايدك صوتله”

I should’ve offered her my leg.

End of transmission.

One of my favorite eye candy cars copied a 1994 Galant. I feel cheated and used for liking it. A rather unpleasant slutty adventure for the suspic.

End of transmission.