Superman is nothing compared to what I’ve found.

Superman is a lame metrosexual superhero who saves the day, but my discovery is a drink that gives you temporarily the focus of 20,000 likes of Superman.

The ancient legends call it “vanilla ice shaken” but in modern days it’s called “double shot espresso” or whatever.

The point is, whenever you’re in need and a starbucks is open.. That drink will help you.

When I had it, I couldn’t nap. That’s huge for a heavy sleeper like myself, that’s like saying Godzilla danced to Dagni, and my calm, uber cool friend started clapping randomly and irrationally in the car after having it.

It is magic.

The only downside is that your face will look like the guy in the pic.

End of transmission.

It’s come to my attention that in more than one case of my acquaintances, taking an allowance or any form of income from your parents is considered frowned upon. What kind of gay self pride is this?

Now, many people think a million times before having a baby. Well not really, but after making the baby, the soon to be parents would think a thousand times before deciding on having the baby or flushing it down and calling it a miscarriage.

I like to think that most of those thoughts are about the responsibility of having the baby in terms of expenses because every kid needs diapers, daily allowances, a fancy car at 18 and a university fund in case the kid messes up in highschool.

So how rude would it be for you to disregard all of those thoughts for your sake because you’re too proud to take from your parents? They had you, they had fun making you so they’re respectably stuck with you til they die if they’re fortunate.

Would a baby goat refuse to breastfeed because it’s too proud? Do not mess with nature.

End of transmission.

I went there to pick my friend up due to an intergalactic emergency, and I was treated like a driver. A friendly Indian guy asked me why I was there and I told him, and he let me pass with a smile and then an Egyptian guy came in and told me I couldn’t. After arguing, I ended up parking near the entrance and waiting for my friend to come.

Now either I look like a child molester looking for a yummy freshmen boy but I wasn’t driving a tinted van, or the Egyptian liked to play mall cop on me. He was clearly 15+ years older than me so I made peace with myself by calling him “son” repeatedly.

The thing that annoyed me is I went there for a noble reason and would’ve liked a cup of coffee as a treat, but I was denied access even though half of the people I see in my uni aren’t really CBA students. Hell, some of them graduated and still go there more than me.

On a lighter note, I decided against shaving my head. Project is postponed for 2 months.

End of transmission.

Once upon a time, my hair was a bit too long so I decided to go and have it cut and trimmed and such. I headed to the nearby hairdresser(a bit posh for 7alaq eljam3ya, eh?) and asked him to do whatever since with these guys no matter what you tell them they’ll do the same haircut.

Anyway, after he cut my hair he kept marketing this Turkish “rolex” hair product that’ll make my hair like the way it was once before, aka sexy. I was bored and said what the hell, how much? “7KD” he said, “Ahahaha, no.” I replied. It magically came down to 3KD afterwards.

I threatened him saying if it was “tamlees” I’d kill him. The product turned out to be a “conditioner hair relaxer” called “relax” but of course “rolex” to him. I wonder if he calls Pantene “Bently”. After he put it, my hair was pretty good but that came at a price once I walked out of the door and the wind played in my hair!

SH3RI GAM YAFRIG!

Yes, I can’t comb it back like I did before. That ass, my hair’s too stupid looking! I’ve been told it’ll stay “relaxed” til it grows back new hair that’s not so relaxed. Actually it’d look good if it was at its usual length before I cut it, but short and na3im don’t go well in one sentence.

Lesson of the day, “rolex” is bad for you.

End of transmission.

That has got to be one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

Clive Owen is by far the worst actor ever, بوخرشد is better than him. Clive has two emotions, angry and plain normal and he has only one accent in every movie whether he’s a bank robber, a cop or King Arthur. Plus, he looks the same in every movie.

The default MSN smilies are more diversed emotionally than him.

End of transmission.