Tip about the Egyptian security guards at KU :

Scream at them and fail to comply with the rules since parking at KU is a pain in the ass. I especially like the screaming variations of “ان حطيته محد راح يشيله غيرك” about the “No parking” sticker. It works like a charm. I tried being nice once, and he put a sticker. He removed it later on, but still he put it.

Tip about traffic policeman :

The other day my friend threw a can out of my car without noticing the police car behind me. We were pulled over, after a smile from me, my friend acknowledging his mistake and asking him if he was “Aflani” in a specific area suggesting we knew his family and are neighbours. We were free to go.

After getting in my car someone called and I answered while I drove off which was stupid but all I got was a joke through the police car’s speakers.

Tip about Filipino waitresses :

Don’t smile or show that you’re over 18.

Tip about waiters : (Exception of previous tip)

Smiling, asking them for their name and how they’re doing goes a long way.

Tip about gulf road :

Don’t make eye contact with guys in their cars with their sisters.

I went to Marina to get some cinnabon, and on the way back my friend and I were talking and suddenly a guy was staring at my friend dead in the eye. Things escalated quickly after we realized he thought my friend was staring at his sisters who were wearing a niqab who weren’t even visible from the darkness.

To make a long story short, he cussed about kicking our asses while we laughed and told him to pull over and all he had to say was “Follow me and I’ll show you!”. We followed him from Marina to Fridays and he still kept saying “Follow me!”, we left since my cinnabon got cold.

Tip about Loyac :

Don’t try to joke with one of the workers unless you’re one of them. They’re elitist assholes but I want a job so “اذا حاجتك عند جلب سمه حجي جلبان”.

Tip about cracking jokes about local demographics :

Don’t. Unless you’re very sure about your friend’s family history.

Any tips for me?

End of transmission.

What’s with girls driving rapist cars these days? If you’re wondering what’s a rapist car, it’s basically an SUV with %100 black window tint. You’d expect a guy with a cig in his hand and disco lights inside, not a petite looking cute girl with a strassy hjab.

I personally have V-Kool on, it’s quite dandy. It gives it a %35 dark look at night but in the morning it’s slightly insignificantly blue. It keeps the heat away, yet doesn’t supress my sunshine smile to the public.

Another thing about girls and cars, I saw a girl in her car the other day with a strassy “ماشالله” and “انا جـلـكسية” on the bumper. What the hell does that mean? She’s intergalactic?

I can just imagine me with an “انا كادبوري” bumper sticker.

End of transmission.

Does such a thing exist?

I’m personally confronted with two problems. First of all since we all want to text quickly and send, some try to shorten every word possible. I’m pretty fine with that, as long as they leave me line breaks so I wouldn’t have to stare at a small screen filled with codes, along with not raping the words with a caps on/off orgy like “HeLLo tHer fLaNN Lo0o0oL ;PpPp~”. The annoying thing is that I use commas, dots and line breaks in my texts(yes, I do) and I’m called a psycho. I’m giving you good reading material, good, well organzied writing and I’m the psycho.

The odd thing is I do it even when I’m texting while driving, since I memorized all the keys. The only thing I have to look for is when I want to add my signature “=O” to my texts which is almost added to everything.

Where do you stand on texting while driving, texting etiquette and what are your pet peeves?

My only pet peeve is when I try to text in class and I notice the guy next to me peeping in whenever my screen lights up. Next time he peeps in I should write “The guy next to me is so cute”. Either his homophobia kicks in or I’ll end up in a very bad situation with a gay guy.

End of transmission.

Hot girls + Aston Martin + Guns = Good enough for suspic. Especially for free with my awesome coupons which none of you have.

It was a bit odd for them to cut the intro scene with the credits. It’s usually one of my favorite things in Bond movies, the graphics were amazing but they chopped it up. I don’t know if the graphics contained nudity or that they wanted to cut on time since that’s just “babai ma mina fayda” to them.

Highly recommended in comparison to cinescape’s other movies, Skin Walkers(2006 film) and Tell No One(Dubbed French film). If they’re gonna show cheap old movies, why not buy classics like Carlito’s Way, Scarface and all those fun stuff. Perhaps Gone With The Wind for the ladies too.

End of transmission.

Since the last post is a rant, here’s a happy one :

He really captured the “No more constipation! I got my poop groove back!” moment with his pose.

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I can’t stress how stupid Arabs can be when it comes to cars. I sincerely can’t.

How many times have you been blinded by an imbecile who had his rear fog lights open in clear night? How many times has suspic suffered from headaches from an idiot in front of him in traffic who had his fog lights open?

The problem is, they don’t know that it’s on. They just walk in the car, press every damn button and drive. Sport, fog, safety off, passenger air bag off, haul button(يشغل قلص واهو مو قالص شي ØŒ بس حسباله “بوَر!!” بن كلب). Every damn button without knowing what it does. The idiots press both because they don’t know which one’s for the front so they can open the fogs with the second light to look all cool. Fucking ignorant assholes.

Here’s a quick lesson by uncle suspic who wants to rape your skull :

End of transmission.

IT’S A QOS QOZAA7!

Fuck yes!

End of transmission.

First person to make the joke of “Moi? You suck? Haha!” will suffer a death wish upon him/her.

Okay moving on, the red light is due to a faulty traffic light that leaves you believing it’s green til you exactly reach the point of no return and lets you think “Expensive brakes or passing a red light?!” in nanoseconds. I chose the latter and got my picture taken from behind.

The other one is the one I’m pissed off about. I got a flat tire on a highway, ditched the car on the sand(not even the safety lane) and went back to tow it. Some cop passing by gave me an “indirect violation ticket” apparently. What was I supposed to do, what was the proper thing to do exactly? If he had touched the engine he would’ve seen that it was still hot. If he had actually stepped down, he would’ve seen the flat tire.

What’s the purpose of the safety lane exactly?

On a lighter note, what’s up with dramatic titles? A title of an article on the net, basically a guy who had a karsha wanted to write about how he lost it :

End of transmission.

Good weather, no? Driving around in a convertible in Kuwait is like driving around naked with the car on cruise and you standing on the hood of the car flashing random cars. Either that or I’m sexier than I thought with the wind playing in my hair.

Onto the topic, have you ever had conversations that are simply out of your league? How would you react and such? Answer like a dummy or rephrase what the other person said as your own point of view?

suspic and the Indian juice boy who spotted a friend’s Oxford dictionary in the car :

Juicy: That, very good.

suspic thinking he’s talking about the juice : … :)

Juicy: :)

suspic: So..cham?

Juicy: 900 fils. Very lot of meaning, everything. Very good. :)

suspic: :)

Juicy: :)

Only after he left I realized he was talking about the dictionary. So, who was the hindi me or him?

End of transmission.