suspic's slutty day out! (Picture included)
Monday March 31st 2008, 12:09 AM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

I made the wrong decision of telling the maid to get some shorts and a towel out before I went to play ملعب صابون as I did an errand of some sort, and when I got back there was no time to undo what she so wrongfully did.

“There’s no time! You have to wear them! No one will notice! You’re a man! Be a man!”, I told myself. After convincing myself, I walked out to the chuckling friends..

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Ritualsٌ
Saturday March 29th 2008, 3:03 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

: طقوس الطلعة مع الشباب

  • الروحة للمكان
  • الفرارة بالمكان
  • الردة من المكان

: الروحة للمكان في المركبة

  • سبعة بالسيارة معلين الأغاني حده
  • يشربكون ويرقصون على اي أغنية حتى لو موال ، ذاك اليوم أنغام – ما بتعلمش مشربكين عليها
  • انعدام تام للسوالف وما تطفي المسجل الا اذا احد رن تلفونه ، مادري يعني شي غريب اذا اللي يكلمه سمع اغاني
  • الرقبة تنكسر لما اي لمحة بنت تمر ، انشالله مدرسة علوم ريلها بالقبر
  • “سسبك شدعوه شاركنا الفرحة؟”

: الوصول للوجهة المعنية

  • الدخول من طرف ، والوصول الى الطرف الثاني من المجمع وبعدين يطقون فوق تحت واسمتها مره ثانيه
  • التعليقات يمين يسار
  • بعد التعب ، القعدة بأي قهوة/كافيه ومع ذلك انعدام تام للسوالف وموضوع الحديث او الانظار كلها لطاولة معينة فيها صبايا
  • تعليقات يمين يسار وانت قاعد ، اريح يعني، وخز الصبايا يتم من بعيد مع التأشير طبعا
  • اذا بيضحك الواحد ، لازم يغير من ضحكته ويعلي نبرة الصوت ويضربها ب15 ويسمع الكل انه قاعد يضحك
  • “سسبك شدعوه ما تسولف ما تنكت، اكتبلك سالفه؟”

: الخروج والرجوع الى البيت

  • فرة اخيرة عن الذمة
  • يوصلون السيارة ويتكودون كلهم فيها
  • ماكو سوالف ، اغاني حده ، تشربك ، رقص بآخر الليل والكل دايخ
  • “!سسبك سو شي! صفق اي شي”

زين دور المعقد بالمجموعة ، صح؟

“سسبك ولله طبعك غريب”

End of transmission.



Professional honesty
Friday March 28th 2008, 3:33 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

Today’s topic is about professional honesty, and when or whether it should be applied. Enjoy the read.

I’m currently going through the exams weeks in school, and occasionaly I postpone some if I’m not sure about my performance and in order to do that you need a doctor’s note that you are ill, an excuse to postpone it basically.

I went to the near by clinic and walked in the doctor’s room, a nice respectable looking Kuwaiti woman with a funny name. Now, it’s either I’m too cocky, too lazy or too honest but I walked in and basically said “Honestly, I have an exam that I’d like to postpone and here’s my school paper for you to sign..”, and then all shit went down.

My whole stay in there was an argument between myself and the righteous doctor, she refused to sign the paper because nothing was wrong with me, and none of my parents were with me. I clearly explained to her that a parent must go to the school to take the paper so there’s no need for them to come with me to the clinic, the posession of the paper is a legal guardian’s approval of the note, and then I further elaborated on how my parents were busy at the hospital for my sister’s operation, and how my older sibilings were busy at work, and then I offered to call my parents to back up my story but she declined saying a parent must be present flesh and soul.

I don’t intend to be an asshole or a smartass, but I usually come off that way when I argue to an imbecile. I said “أمانة مهنية يعني؟” sarcastically with a nice smirk and further argued on how the whole purpose of the parent being here is their consent and I offered to do that via phone call due to uncontrollable circumstances, and then I told her how she’s helping a student pass an exam and she’s not harming anyone, and no one knows a thing.

It is then when her response shocked me, “رب العالمين يدري” with a smirk of her own. She can’t lie because God knows, and I can’t tell you how much she’s missing the point of professional honesty and the concept of looking at the big picture. I didn’t ask her to send me abroad for treatment when nothing is wrong with me, I just requested that she’d use her position to help a student get a day’s leave to postpone an exam. I didn’t lie to take medicine I don’t need from the pharmacy, I didn’t cost anyone money, I didn’t rob something from another patient, all I requested was for her to write “headache” on my paper and for her to sign it.

I’m really shocked on how she associated God with this, I could’ve went into a whole argument but obviously lacks logic.

Islam wise, the prophet once said “انما بعثتم ميسرين ولم تبعثوا معسرين”. What’s wrong with helping each other out? Going by the book taking rules literally isn’t always what’s right. The purpose of a system is to care for the greater good, and sometimes you can achieve that without the need to go by the book.

It’s not about the sick note I got it without her shitty doctor-handwriting from another doctor, but it’s about the concept of her naive idealism.

End of transmission.



I dropped my baby!
Wednesday March 26th 2008, 3:51 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

I love this phone, I appreciated it when I first got it..but now it’s abused.

The phone’s always precious the first few months, you’re taking care of it, charging it, making sure it doesn’t fall so there won’t be any scratches on it or anything like that. Some people go extreme and buy ugly leather covers for their phones, so it’s always special and taken care of.

Months after, you just don’t care since it got old and its value dropped at least %40(statistic maybe fictional). I dropped my phone 3 times in the last few days. Once, it was on my bed and I turned off the lights to sleep. Yes, I sleep in the dark I’m kinky like that..anyway, so I headed to my bed and pulled the sheets and so it went flying and rotating slowly only to hit the floor screen first. Now in the first months I would’ve jumped towards it saving it going “Noo!” and putting my face in front of it to break the fall but this time I smirked, evil laughed and enjoyed the scene.

It’s like wanting to see a car accident, you shouldn’t but it’s just fun.

The other time was yesterday, I parked the car, got out holding a lot of stuff, and as I opened the main gate the phone slipped and fell on the ground. Now I didn’t make it any easier for the phone, as it fell I remembered my desire to use my foot to break the fall then balance it on my feet football style and then bounce it up so I’d catch it with my hand looking awesome as usual. It’s safe to say I failed and ended up kicking my phone away making it fall even harder.

Phone, I apologize. By the way I love checking the call timers in phones. It’s usually found in the Settings > Calls > Call Timers or something similar, post yours so I’d make inappropriate jokes towards you. :D

End of transmission.



Conversations, the sequel.
Wednesday March 26th 2008, 3:21 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

Disclaimer : ماعندي خلفية كبيرة بالدين فأكثر ماقول نتيجة تفكيري العجيب ، فإن غلطت صححوني ، و انما الاعمال بالنيات ولكل امرئ ما نوى.

Conversation about Mothers day

Abdulaziz :ها ليش رديت البيت ؟

suspic : سلمت على امي ، بدلت ورديت

Abdulaziz : ليش شصاير؟

suspic : تعرف عيد الأم .. دشيت شفتها لابسة ساعة يديدة سلمت عليها وقلتلها اني مختار الساعة

Abdulaziz : اشكره جذاب ، المهم ليش يعني ما تحتفلون بالأم الا بهاليوم بس.. الأم المفروض تحتفل فيها كل يوم مو بس اليوم ، اصلا هذا بدعة. وكل بدعة ضلالة ، وكل ضلالة بالنار. :)

suspic : اتوقع الأم بتمل اذا كل يوم ، تخيل كل يوم عيد ميلادك..ما راح تمل؟ وانزين طالع الأمور بإيجابية يعني ، كرمت أمك بيوم شريتلها هدية ونستها ، ليش على طول طلعتنا كفار فاسقين مبتدعين؟ ومستانس اني بالنار بعد ، ها؟

Abdulaziz : !!المهم بدعة. بدعة

suspic : عالعين والراس بدعة ، بس التكملة كل بدعة ضلالة ، شلون هالبدعة بالذات ضلتنا عن الطريج السليم..ماشوفها كضلالة ، وانزين العيد الوطني بدعة ، ليش رحت واحتفلت فيه دامك موسوعة اسلامية؟

Abdulaziz : انا ما احتفلت ، بس رشيت رغوه.. شكو؟

suspic : .جب

 

Conversation about the Hijab
-
Abdulaziz : شوف..ِشزينها هالبنت منقبة ومالها شغل بأحد مو هذي مو محجبة
-
suspic : ماحب النقاب صراحة
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Abdulaziz : شكو ما تحبه؟ أستر! تعرف يعني شنو أستر؟
-
suspic :  انزين ، بس المحجبة اللي مطلعه ويها ناقص دينها؟
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Abdulla : بن باز قال المرأة لازم تستر كل شي فيها
-
suspic : انا صراحة ماعرف شي عن بن باز غير الشارع اللي مسمينه عليه ، انزين ويه المره ما يتنفس؟ ما يشم هوا؟
-
Barrack : انا سمعت انه صار مينون بأخر عمره ، خارها بجم شي.. المهم بن باز ولا مو بن باز ، الرسول اللي اهوه الرسول قال المرأة تطلع الويه واليدين ، شتبي يعني؟
-
Abdulaziz : اي بس أستر ، تعرف يعني شنو أستر؟
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suspic : فيك عقدة نفسية؟ احد يطالعها خلاص تموت. عقد احتكار على ويها ؟ ومثل ما قال براك الرسول قال المرأة تستر كل شي الا الويه واليدين ، يعني هذي حدود الله واحترموها ، انت ليش تزيد من عندك؟
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Abdulaziz :  لا بس احلى ان محد يشوفها غيرك انت ، وصح المحجبة مو ناقص دينها ، المنقبة أحسن ، ما تبي الأحسن؟
-
suspic : انزين حبيبي ما درسنا بالاسلامية ان في شي اسمه الغيرة المحمودة والغيرة المكروهة؟ انت تبي تسترها كلها ، شصار يعني .. هل بتصير أشرف اذا تغطت كلها؟
-
Abdulaziz : لا.. مو مقياس يعني بس مادري
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suspic : فالمنقبة ما تفرق عن المحجبة او المو محجبة ، يعني كل صوب في الزينين والمو زينين .. وهم يقولون بس لان شخص دين مو معناته خلوق ، بس الاخلاق تييب الدين ، يعني بس لان كامل دينها مو معناته خوش وحده
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Abdulaziz : هي هي هي يحليلك يا سسبك
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*20 more minutes*
-

..كل اسبوع

-
End of transmission.


10,000 BC
Sunday March 23rd 2008, 9:46 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

I recently went to this movie at Sharg. I was really looking forward to this movie, and we went to a late show at 10.45 thinking no punks would be there.

In a few words, the movie is fascinating. Fascinating in the sense of taking you to a new world, and how the story develops nicely and connects the dots smoothly. I liked it, but I recommend seeing it on DVD. They cut some parts which robs something from the movie especially when it’s just the narrator talking, and I almost killed the entire theatere especially my friends. I’m all for making jokes, but at least make them funny and properly timed.

By the end most of the people walked out, the guys epsecially, you sat there for hours waiting for the movie to finish and your grace can’t withstand five more minutes? Killing the illusion for other people who also paid 3KD and would like to enjoy the movie. When I watch a movie I’m just with the story, when something happens I zoom out and the illusion is dead so imagine 7 rows walking out in the end when the narrator is giving you the moral of the story?

It’s beyond ignorant, impolite and a waste of money. If it’s not cinescape it’s the imbeciles in the cinema, if it’s not the imbeciles it’s cinescape.

Spoiler to discuss :  (Drag your mouse over the text)

 I pretty much liked the movie, except the part where he speared the almighty king. It was too 300-ish, remember when Leonidas speared the God King? Also, the acting wasn’t that much.

The best thing about the movie is the girl. You should all learn from her beauty.

End of transmission.



NBK's Walkathon
Sunday March 23rd 2008, 9:02 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

Dear God my body is sore, I pulled an ass muscle.

Weeks ago we were complaining on how we were wasting our time doing nothing, and then amazingly we saw the billboard advertising NBK’s walkathon so we went ahead and signed up, to “invest” our time in something useful.

Weeks after, the day came and most of us forgot the thing. The walkathon for my age group was scheduled to start at 3.25 at the Scientific Center and end at Aljazeera Alkhathra(Green Island?) and I woke up at 2 having a quick lunch, finding any pair of shorts and any deodorant.

We went there and we were all very sore, because we played ملعب صابون the day before. For those who don’t know, it’s those blow-up football fields near beaches. It’s basically football with water-soapy floors. I’m proud to say I challenged the tallest and biggest guy we know and I made him my bitch, sliding my way through his legs, torso, neck, face, ass, soul, everything.

Anyway so we were sore, and the walkathon was packed for my age group 15-20 so everyone was very fit and ready for competition..except the punks who came in with their fancy sunglasses and blowdryed hair. Some even showed up in jeans and polo shirts. Thankfully the shirt they gave us with the number looked like a big kitchen apron so most of us looked like we were running for food, which toned their fashion sense down. I loved watching them struggle to make it cool.

Minutes after arrival the walkathon started, and the masses started running! It’s a walkathon but most of us agreed that walking is gay, and jogging is cool. I believe %70 of us got disqualified, but none of us were really interested in winning anything because we care about the greater good, which is us having fun.

We started at 3.35 and arrived at 4.45 after struggling to get there since we were the last to start, none of the rest stops had any water so it was a good day for the ice-cream men.

On the way there a lot of things happened, we saw half the senile age group laying on the grass dying, the chubby women going back to Marina Mall after going 100 meters away from it. We started an hour after, and from the Scientific center and we still caught up to those chubby women. We saw further women stylishly changing the number shirt, bringing blue scarfs and wearing jeans. Who goes to a walkathon under the burning sun in low-waist jeans?

After arriving there, we went up to the supposedly fun contest show which was simply an NBK guy screaming “Yabeela” a thousand times, a DJ, and the cheap ass Golf. You’d think they’d get a better car with all the people who signed up and the amount of advertising they made..

It was all fun, I’m still in pain, but I plan to make it a frequent habit to jog 8 kilometers. The golden moments of the walkathon :

  • One kilometer left at AlBatriq restaurant, my friend and I are screaming “More?!” and we ask the guy “Is this the end?” and he says “NO! This is the beginning of the end!”. I had to stop to laugh my ass off from that epic answer.
  • Two chubby girls wearing awfully tight clothes asking the police “How do we go back?”. You walk back, fatass.
  • My shorts’ pockets ripping from the weight of the phone and wallet. I looked like I was hung like a horse running with those in my pockets, but eventually it ripped and I had to run with my wallet and phone in my hand.

End of transmission.



Sexism
Thursday March 20th 2008, 3:44 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

I’d like to post on my prespective of the current trend of bashing the men of Kuwait, and I’d like to call all women sexist for blatantly thinking you’re superior to men when you preach equality. In theory it’s good, but in all honesty you’re hypocrities but I’m not bringing anything new to the table of this centuries old conflict so I’ll just stop here saying… I really don’t have any amazing conclusion, just a rant..so..this caramel waffle is delicious and I’ll post random pictures :

How sexually confused is the guy who drew this?

This car has no back nor front bumper. Awesomeness.

What’s with this display pictures trend amongst the womens? Makes me just wanna step on them for a 3-strike combo, or perhaps line my sexy beast of a leg next to them.

These made me laugh so much..so very much.

I promise I’ll have consistent and coherent posts next time.

End of transmission.



suspic never forgets!
Monday March 17th 2008, 4:37 PM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

Game Over, you helped me and I promised you a gift.

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Sunday March 16th 2008, 1:34 AM
Filed under: suspic's speeches

I just forgot the first time, and you come back to remind me, you cockroach.

Identify yourself please so I can decapitate you with a karate chop followed by brain eating. Yes, I want to eat your brain then I’ll chop your arms off to beat you with them and go “Why are you hitting yourself, stupid?” as you cry in your pool of blood.

I. want. you. dead.